I was unprepared for the really silly questions people ask when they find out you're building an airplane. I just expected everyone to say "Wow, that's really cool." or something similar. As a general rule, that's not the typical response. If you're building a plane already I'm sure you've been asked these very same questions. I have not made up any of the questions and the answers are what I really tell people. If you're planning to build, get ready, you will be asked these same questions. If you don't like my answers, you have time to prepare your own answers to SFAQs.

If you're neither building or planning to build, here are some questions to avoid asking others who are building. My dad gave me some advice once that applies to questions like these. He said, "Son, if you keep your mouth shut people will naturally think you're smart. It's when you open your mouth that you destroy the illusion."

Q. You don't really intend to fly the plane, do you?

A. Well, that actually was the plan.

[Note: I've been asked this question at least a dozen times. Each time it catches me off guard, which is probably why I have not thought up a sarcastic response. For the life of me I can't imagine what these people are thinking. From my perspective, spending $60,000 and 1,500 hours of time to construct an airplane that I'm not going to fly is crazy. Yet, somehow they think I'm the crazy one for building an airplane I intend to fly. Obviously our minds are wired very differently.

I pride myself in being able to understand (this is not the same as agree with) an incredibly wide variety of religious, political, and philosophic positions, not to mention different cultures and even the occasional weirdo. I even understood my teenage kids growing up; probably because I hadn't forgotten my formative years. This understanding others extends all the way to the odd ball that camped next to us at Airventure a few years ago and bent my ear about dinosaurs, thoracic vertebrae differences between man and extinct dinosaurs, changing lunar orbits and how this puts our mars bound astronauts at risk. When Shirley would see him coming over, she'd leave. Me? Heck, I just got out another beer and explored his delusion with him. I actually enjoy getting out of the mainstream line of thinking occasionally. But as flexible as my mind is, I have no idea what mundane mental maudlings are going around in the minds of the folks that ask if I'm going to fly the plane I'm building. The logic of building an airplane to not fly escapes me entirely. What are these people thinking?]

Q. Is this going to be an ultralight aircraft?

A. No, the finished weight will be over 1,000lbs and it'll have an enclosed cockpit with two seats and room for 100lbs of baggage. It'll be classified as a general aviation aircraft and it will cruise at about 185 mph and with oxygen, for the occupants, it can fly to 18,000' or higher solo. We plan to see all of North America in it.

Q. When do you think you'll finish the plane?

A. Do you mean what date?

Q2. Yes, what date?

A. We've been planning to finish on the 20th but it's going slower than we thought. It could be the 21st or even the 22nd.

Q3. You mean this (or sometimes next) month?!?

A. Oh heavens, we're not sure what year we're going to finish let alone the month. I just thought you wanted to know the date.

Q. Do you really think this plane will fly?

A. Only if I have enough money.

Q2. Money? What does money have to do with it?

A. Money is what really makes airplanes fly. If you don't have enough money your airplane won't fly. What you learned in school about Bournulli's law was a nice theory and it explained the theory of how a wing creates lift. In reality though, money is all it takes to make an airplane fly. Just ask any pilot.

Q. Is your airplane going to be a boy or a girl?

A. We don't know. Van's hasn't shipped those parts yet and we want to be surprised.

Q. Is it hard?

A. Yes, most of the parts are aluminum but the real problem isn't with how hard the parts are, it's with the sharp edges. Some evenings you tend to bleed on the project a little more than other evenings. In fact someone once said building an airplane was the male equivalent to child birth except that it took longer and was bloodier. Would you like to see the bloody good job I did on some nose ribs?...oh, you mean is it difficult to build the kit. Heck no! Building is simple. If it was difficult I couldn't do it.